Organic Gluten Free Low GI Double Down Insanity

Unless you are very lucky or have been living under a rock you may have heard of the new sandwich Kentucky Fried Chicken recently released called the Double Down.  It is two breaded chicken patties (or you can get the grilled version if you're watching your girlish figure), bacon, cheese, and the frightening sounding Colonel's sauce which is basically spicy mayo.  No bun, no bread, instead it gets wrapped up in a baggy so the copious amounts of grease don't roll down your sleeve.  Sounds great, right?

It has been impossible to ignore especially as a serious foodie.  At least once a day someone is talking (okay usually rending their hair at the creation's ick factor) about this sandwich.  The Jamie Olivers of the world are declaring it the food equivalent of the apocalypse and basically acting like it will be the down fall of civilization.  While the Anthony Bourdains shrug at its impressive caloric content while admitting that it kind of looks like it would be fun to try just once.

I fall somewhere in the middle.  It is a rather unnecessary calorie bomb and the world doesn't really need another bit of junk food.  On the other hand people already eat crap and this actually isn't near to the worst thing you can get in the world of fast food.  Its kind of impressive actually how much press this silly breadless sandwich has gotten and though they are a bit late to the trend it was nice to see a low carb option being marketed.

But mostly I'm just sick of hearing about it.  So after an acquaintance of mine ate one and lived to write about it I decided I would make a Double Down that I could eat.  It would be my protest against fast food to try to make a less coronary inducing version of this monstrosity.  The joke was on me however.  By trying the old low carb meat dredging trick of substituting ground nuts for breading  I may have actually made a sandwich even worse for you than the original.  Now that is impressive!

I did however make it will all organic and gluten free ingredients which is not something you are ever going to find in a fast food restaurant any time soon.  So with that small victory I will admit the most embarrassing part of this whole qualifier heavy post is this... 

This was one of the most delicious things I have ever eaten!

There I admitted it and as an proponent of healthy eating I shall now hang my head in shame.  The thing is though, Michael Pollan is right, if you are going to eat something this bad for you then you should make it for yourself for two reasons.  One is you can control the quality of the ingredients, limit the calories where possible and if you have to take the time to prepare it you can't impulse eat it.  And secondly after you learn what goes into certain things and how gross and greasy they are you will never ever want to put them in your mouth again.

For example I decided to make homemade mayonnaise for this recipe because I never had before and didn't want to buy a tub of it at the store.  Like so many things Julie Child makes it sound so freaking easy.  This woman had to have the arms of an ox because halfway through the process the fella and I were all out of arm strength in all of our combined appendages.  And after whipping a cup and a half of oil into two egg yolks I realized how sickening mayonnaise is, now that I really truly know what goes into it I have no desire to ever consume it again. 

Which is how I ended up feeling about this entire experiment; it was a fun adventure but I will never do it again.  In fact if I had to suggest to someone how to make a less evil Double Down I would say add some cayenne to the breading, skip the bacon and go light on the cheese.  The mayo and the bacon added nothing to the sandwich.  I know, its blasphemy to speak poorly of bacon but hear me out. 

The fake KFC seasoning mixed in with the ground pecans were what really made this a treat.  That was the truly delicious part and the copy cat blend of spices did taste amazingly like how I remember the real Kentucky Fried Chicken tasting.  So I would perhaps bread chicken that way again in the future.  The other crazy piles of stuff on this sandwich and the extra chicken breast are really just for show.  And it succeeded, we now how far KFC is willing to go to get press.  It worked, we're talking about them, even I gave in to the trend.  Darn it.

Organic Gluten Free Low GI Double Down Insanity

1 cup finely ground pecans

1/2 teaspoon paprika

1 teaspoon garlic salt

1 teaspoon onion salt
1/2 teaspoon dried oregano
1/2 teaspoon dried rubbed sage
1/4 teaspoon dried powdered rosemary
1/4 teaspoon dried powdered thyme
1/2 teaspoon dried parsley
1/2 teaspoon salt
1/2 teaspoon ground black pepper

1 egg 

1/4 cup rice flour

2 large chicken breasts

4 tablespoons oil

4 pieces of cooked bacon

4 slices of cheese (I used organic goat "cheddar")

2 tablespoons of spicy mayo (recipe to follow)

Using a spice or coffee grinder, finely chop the pecans.  They will turn wet and sticky very quickly while being ground so make sure to watch their consistency so that you don't end up with pecan butter.  Also use the grinder to powder any of the spices that aren't already ground.  Mix the spices and the ground pecans in a shallow bowl.

Whisk the egg in another shallow bow and set aside.  Place the rice flour in yet another shallow bowl.

Using a mallet pound the chicken breasts until they are an even thickness, about 1/4 inch.  You should have two very large mostly flat chicken breasts.  Cut each into 2 equal sized pieces so that you now have four pieces of thin chicken breast.

Warm the oil over medium high heat in a non-stick pan while you batter the chicken.  First dust the chicken breast with the rice flour.  Next coat the chicken in the egg.  Lastly dredge the chicken in the pecan and spice mixture until well coated.  When the oil is warm pan fry each piece of chicken, trying to avoid burning the pecan coating by flipping the chicken often and keeping the temperature low.  Cook until the inside of the breasts are cooked through then set aside.

Place two chicken breasts on a plate to beginning assembling the sandwich. Place two slices of bacon and  2 pieces of cheese on one of the chicken breasts and 1 tablespoon of the mustard on the other breast.  Fit the two prepared chicken breasts together like a sandwich.  Repeat with the remaining ingredients to make the second sandwich.

Copycat KFC seasonings from this website.

Spicy Mayo

1/4 mayo (make your own or from a jar if you like)

1/2 teaspoon cayenne

1/4 teaspoon paprika 

In a small bowl mix everything together well.

Chocolate Bacon Cake

This cake is what happens when you spend time drinking with a chef and say crazy things like “how would one go about making a gluten free cake with port, bacon and chocolate?” And said cooking expert is just wacky enough to take the question as a challenge, not only making it happen in a very tasty way but never once cocking an eye brow at the weird idea. So together Jacob, the chef with multiple “most unique” cooking titles and I threw together this chocolate bacon cake for the birthday party of our celiac friend Q. It was a big hit and a lot of fun to make. Two packages of bacon were cooked in the making of this delicious dessert.

The only problem with this cake is that it will conquer even the greatest sweet tooth. I highly recommend making it next time you need the most creative baked good possible, just remember to eat truffle sized amounts of it and have large amounts of chocolate and bacon loving friends around to help you conquer the cake. It's that rich and evilly tasty. Somehow the sweet flourless cake combines perfectly with the bittersweet salty bacon frosting. The powdered sugar makes it nearly perfect.

Oh did I mention this cake is out of this world but absolutely not something that follows the French diet at all? Yeah whoops. It was just so good I had to write about it anyway. It was a big hit.

FOR CAKE:

1/4 cup red wine reduction
1 pound semisweet chocolate, chopped
1 cup (2 sticks) unsalted butter
1 teaspoon vanilla extract

7 large eggs, room temperature
1 cup sugar

Preheat oven to 350°F. Butter 9-inch-diameter springform pan with 2 3/4-inch-high sides. Line bottom of pan with parchment paper. Or invest in a 9-inch silicon pan which requires no greasing or lining.

To make a wine reduction pour most of a bottle of a decent red wine (something bold like tempranillo or syrah) into a saucepan over medium low heat. Keep on a gentle simmer until the liquid has reduced to a thick syrupy consistency.

Stir chocolate (I used half bittersweet and half semisweet), butter, wine reduction, and vanilla in heavy large saucepan over low heat until melted and smooth. Cool to lukewarm.

Using electric mixer, beat eggs and 1 cup sugar in large bowl until thick and pale, and slowly dissolving ribbon forms when beaters are lifted, about 6 minutes. Fold 1/3 of egg mixture into lukewarm chocolate mixture. Fold remaining egg mixture into chocolate mixture.

Place prepared pan on baking sheet. Transfer batter to prepared pan. Bake until tester inserted into center comes out with moist crumbs attached, about 55 minutes. Cool completely in pan. Run knife around pan sides to loosen cake. Remove sides of pan; transfer cake to platter. Remove parchment paper.

Original recipe from Epicurious.com with creative embellishments from Jacob.

FOR FROSTING:

4 ounces bacon fat (rendered from 1 package good quality bacon)
4 ounces 100% cacao dark chocolate
2 tablespoons heavy cream
powdered sugar for decoration

Use your preferred method for cooking bacon, setting aside rendered fat. While fat is warm run it through a sieve to strain out the ugly left over bacon pieces. Reserve cooked bacon for decorating the cake later.

In a small double boiler gently melt together 4 ounces of the bacon fat and 4 ounces of dark chocolate. When melted add heavy cream and stir to combine until homogeneous.. Allow mixture to return to almost room temperature at which point it will thicken enough to smooth over the cooled cake. Place in refrigerator until frosting is firm, about 20 minutes.

To make your own powdered sugar place about a 1/2 cup regular granulated sugar into the blender. It seems crazy but it works, don't try try to substitute the food processor for this it won't accomplish anything. You might need to agitate the sugar occasionally to get a uniform powder consistency.

I then used a damask stencil, placed it over the firmed frosting and sprinkled powder sugar over it. Using the left over bacon, chopped into small pieces I a framed the stencil decoration.